I Will Miss You, Michael.

Friends, thank you for the kind words, phone calls, emails and text messages.

Many of you know my unique history with Michael and I am fortunate to have the memories I do.

As a preteen I was drawn to his music and his magic. As I grew up and traveled the world to see Michael, with family, friends and lovers, I never felt alone.

Being socially awkward as a teenager, I found refuge as being that "Michael Jackson" kid.

Michael Jackson invented much of who Chris Dancy is today.

I remember getting up to watch the Jackson 5 cartoon when I was 7.

I remember skating to "Rock with You" at Sportsmen's Hall when I was 10.

I remember my mother giving me a photograph and letter from Michael when I was 13.

I remember my mother crying with excitement when I was 19 in Washington, DC as we saw Michael Jackson together.

I remember going to NYC for the first time in 1988 with my fiancé Donna, to see him for 4 nights at Madison Square Garden, compliments of Michael himself.

In 1989, I traveled to Tokyo, Japan and worked two jobs to buy all the Michael Jackson stuff I could find.  

After my first lover died I was 23, and I sold all my Michael Jackson memoriblilia to a collector in London.

I remember when my brother took over "the dancing" and I just would sit back and watch him do all the steps we had practiced for hours in our house in Westminster.

Because Michael and I are almost exactly 10 years apart, so much of my life has mirrored his own personal struggles.

As I grew and Michael matured, endured and suffered, I learned so many valuable lessons about life.

Remember your friends, help the helplessmake people smile, give love, give of yourself.

 

It is far better to be hated for who you are than loved for you are not.

 

I am still going to London, I might even bring my glove.

Just as it was in 2004 when I was 35 andlost my mother, tonight I sit here alone, realizing again, how fragile life is.

If I have ever made you happy, laugh, smile or feel special, remember it was you my friend who I was reflecting.

In closing, he wasn't just my idol, he was my friend.

To Make My Father Proud 

To make my father proud
To make my mother smile
I need no conquered worlds, a fame
Not set, the pace style

If I can follow through
Oh, love think wavely me as my tears
I'll find the way to sail my course
Avoiding ships a fools

If I don't come up, number one
I'll stand not well apart
As one for numbered numbers
When knowing in my heart

I've done all to be done
To always do my best
By listening to me, myself
So he can do or else
(Or without compromise, 
Shall follow the feel of constant care) 

In my eleven hour
I'll be a man the way
To face whatever falls my way
Prepared that are a shame
To just recall the part of God

For which I have been named
A man and a woman's youngest son
While growing still a child
And that will make my father proud
And make my mother smile... 
(Proud)

 

Someone Put Your Hand Out

Never try to talk about it
It's got to sound good to me inside
I just think about it

I'm so undemanding
'Cause they say love is blind
I've lived this life pretending
I can bear this hurt deep inside

The truth is that I'm longing
For love that's so divine
I've searched this whole world wishing
She'll be there time after time

So someone put your hand out
I'm begging for your love
All I do is hand out a heart that needs your love

I've lived my life the lonely
A soul that cries of shame
With handicapped emotions
Save me now from what still remains

I'll be your story hero
A serenading ryne
I'm just needing that someone
Save me now from the path I'm on...

Someone put your hand out
I'm begging for your love
'Cause all I do is hand out a heart that needs your love
Someone put your hand out
I'm begging for your love
All I do is hand out a heart that needs your love

When you say we will dance 'til the light of day
It's just like the children in earth's joy
When we pray will you promise me you'll always stay
It's because I'm needing that someone


Someone put your hand out
I'm begging for your love
'Cause all I do is hand out a heart that needs your love
Someone put your hand out
I'm begging for your love
All I do is hand out
Someone put your hand out
I'm begging for your love
All I do is hand out
Love

Originally posted: THURSDAY, JUNE 25, 2009 AT 6:21PM